Jeff Brewer, Cool Rockets, and One Simple Act of Kindness

------------------------------Little Ethel Merman

Hello Friends,

You know, Tracy has had a tough time lately. She lost her mother a couple of years ago, her fathers fighting with cancer, and all the problems that go along with living with me. Not to mention the day to day crap that we all have to deal with. But you know, it's funny how one simple act of kindness can make all off that disappear for while.

Our house is decorated kinda contemporary (I think it's contemporary, but I'm not to hip on interior decorating lingo) Anyway, our house is decorated with rockets and robots. A couple of weeks ago Tracy and I just got home from somewhere when she noticed that Little Ethel Merman (who, by the way, is a boy pussycat) was acting guilty. So she went looking around the house. She stopped looking when she got to the dining room. What she found was that LEM had jumped off the kitchen table and knocked some shelves off the wall. She also found her three 'Cool Rockets' I had bought her, smashed to smithereens on the floor. She tried to glue them back together...she glued them back together...they were doomed. I was never sure if she really liked the 'Cool Rockets' cause Tracy is a NASA girl, the Saturn V , Redstone, and SR-71 are her cup-o-tea. 'Cool Rockets' are more like 1950's sci-fi, comic book rockets. After her seeing them all mashed, I could tell that she really liked them. She was very upset.

'Cool Rockets' are the creations of a cat named Jeff Brewer. Besides being an artist extraordinaire, Jeff works as a model maker for the film and commerical television industry. His film credits include, Nightmare Before Christmas - Men in Black - James and The Giant Peach - Starship Troopers - Star Trek VIII-First Contact - Star Wars Episode I - Pearl Harbor, and so on and so forth.

So, a few days after the big crash of 2010, I ordered her a new rocket from his website. I wrote the story about how I found out she liked the rockets in a comment box strategically placed on the site. And guess what? I get an e-mail from Jeff Brewer himself. He gave his condolence's, said he was a dog person, and that he would mail her rocket that day. How cool was that? Mr. bigity big shot Hollywood model man sent me a personal e-mail. Pretty cool I think.

Now, a couple of days ago Tracy calls me from her office and tells me that she got rockets in the mail (that's where I had it sent) and that she loves them both. Both? I only ordered one rocket, see it seems that Jeff sent her a rocket to go with the one I ordered. Why? I guess because Jeff Brewer is one bad ass dude, that's why. Now, I didn't tell Tracy that cause I wanted it to look like I bought her two, cause two rockets are always better than one rocket....Kidding, kidding, I'm pullin' your leg. I told her all about the e-mail and Jeff's response. She is very happy.

Let me ask you friends, who does that? Jeff sent her an $80.00 dollar rocket for nothin'. Out of the goodness of his Hollywood heart. Who does that kind of thing? Nobody that's who. Except for Jeff Brewer......and Tracy. Remember the story I wrote about the little African kid and the clothes she bought for him or her donating two turkeys instead of one at Thanksgiving, or buying all those cleaning supplies for the homeless family that got a home, or scrounging up a VCR for the DHS kids who had a bunch of old tapes donated to them, or giving the homeless guy ten bucks instead of one dollar, or a million other stories about her I could tell? Charity stories, damn it, charity stories (I tell the other stories too, but this ain't the time or the place)

I have always said that I don't believe that what goes around, comes around, but Jeff Brewer has proven me wrong with one simple act of kindness.

So, go to his web site and buy somethin', or at least go look around, then buy somethin'. There are some pretty cool rockets there. And while your lookin' around, remember what a swingin' cat Jeff Brewer is and the very nice thing he did for my gal.

Thanks, Jeff. Thanks for more than you know.

http://www.coolrockets.com

Here is some rocket junk.

Adios
~e~

PS The three rockets pictured above are like the one's Little Ethel Merman busted. And I'm pretty sure Jeff has records of the stuff people have bought from the 'Cool Rockets' website, so don't any of you jackasses go writin' him letters about how your pet spider monkey chewed the fin of your 'Space Tub' and you want a free one, for Christs sake. He won't fall for it. Trust me, he won't.

Velvet Revolver vs American Idol

------------------------------ Velvet Revolver

Hello friends,

Along time ago, in another life, this chick I knew was making me watch American Idol. Now, those of you who know me, know how I feel about American Idol, but she wanted me to see something that would change my mind. Bo Bice. Bo Bice? Well, I watched Bo Bice and thought I was gonna puke. I looked at her and was completely amazed that she was so incredibly stupid to think I would like that shit. Fla-ber-gass-ted. That's what I was. Bo Bice. "He rocks!" she said. "He sucks!" I shot back. Well, later that evening, this was on Leno.

What perfect timing. Now, it's not that I'm a huge Velvet Revolver fan, but everything about this clip bleeds rock and roll. From Scott dancing around to Slash hopping around in circles. But when Slash put his foot up on the monitor, I looked at her and said "Are you watching this? That's rock and roll. Can't you see the difference between that and Bo Bice? Don't you get it?" She didn't get it....and later that evening, neither did I.

Adios,

~e~

Tim Toone

Hello friends,

Well, the NFL draft is over...finally. And I could really careless who is first round, but the last pick is somethin' different. This year, the 255th over all pick, by Detroit, was Weber States (I didn't know there was a state named Weber. Pronounced Weee-bur) 5'10" 185lb wide receiver Timmy Toone. Now listen neighbors, I really like this guy (ha ha, not that way) I don't know if he can make it in the NFL or not but I sure hope he does for the simple fact that he is a fast white guy with dread locks. I'm not quite sure why I like that but I'm not quite sure why I like a lot of the things I like. I like his attitude too. When asked about being the first Wee-bur State receiver to go over 3000 yards he said "...It just shows the accomplishment of our team...It just means we have (a) great line, great quarterback. You know, their out there doing their job..." There isn't enough of that kinda of attitude any more. Remember Barry Sanders? In college a reporter said to Barry "If you keep going like you are, you will be the greatest running back in the history of college football." Barry replied "Maybe we just have the greatest offensive line in the history of college football." (He played for the Detroit Lions also) And as for being the last picked, remember Thurman Thomas? He was thought to be a first round pick. ESPN had a live crew at his house to film the monument us occasion. Well, the first round came and went and Thurman fell asleep on TV. He was finally picked 40th in the second round. Thurman made a vow to make every team that passed him up sorry. I think he did. So, good luck Timmy, giv'um hell and make'um sorry, brother. I'm sure there all pullin' for you in the great state of Weber. (Where ever in the hell that is)

Heeeeere's Timmy!


and Thurman


and Barry


Adios,
~e~

Ps Barry Sanders and Thurman Thomas both went to college at Oklahoma State University. (I know where the great state of Oklahoma is, but I still can't find Wee-bur)

Brian Parton and the Nashville Rebels

Hello friends,

Every time I get on a tangent about something (like my fight with Youetube) something will come along to make me realize how non-important it is. You see, I heard today that my friend Brian Partons sister, Lisa, past away. I haven't seen Brian in a while and I have been thinking a lot about him today. You know, if you never got to see the Nashville Rebels play you sure missed out. Their live shows always delivered. Brian is a great showman, a great singer, a great song writer, and a great guitar player. Dave 'Skin Tight' White is Tulsa's premier bass player, and Billy Earl 'Bad Ass' Padgett is the most entertaining drummer around. Together those two make the best rhythm section you have ever heard. The Rebels, in my opinion, were one of the best bands Tulsa has ever put out. They are up there with the Shakers, Steve Pryor and the Mighty King Snakes, and the Jim Strader Quartet. And you would find Lisa at most of the Rebel gigs dancing like crazy. And believe me, Lisa had no problem letting you know how great her brother was. Sisters are great fans. My thoughts are with Brian. Hang in there you rockin' m-m-m-mutha.

This is the first tune I heard by Brian Parton and the Nashville Rebels. I heard it on the juke box at Caz's, and I was hooked.


Please Don't Touch


I love the lyrics in the song.
...Were goin' out for an evening
gonna do a little sleezin'
where they rock like fiends...


http://www.myspace.com/brianparton1

If you see Brian out playin' somewhere tell him Eddy says 'hey' and ask him to tell you the 'Sex Machine' story. It's a riot.

Adios
~e~

Sietuben

Hello friends,

Here is letter number two (2) to Youtube. I guess the first one (1) didn't get their attention.

Guter Tag,

Me again. Have you guys decided to put my video back yet? I wish you would just admit you were wrong and put it back where it was. Did you geniuses even watch my video? Tell me what parts were "offensive" so I will not make the same mistake in the future, because I don't know. I sure don't want to get another Community Strike, oh the shame! I bet if you tell me what parts that you consider "offensive" I can find ten (10) worse examples that are on Sietuben...sorry, I mean Youtube. I think you should browse around your site a bit. I'll help, check out 'hot ass' or 'big ass' or 'ass shakin' or 'butt shakin' or 'bubble butt' or 'bubble ass' or 'bubble ass butt' or 'double bubble ass butt', or' 'double bubble ass butt shakin' or just plain ol' ass butt'. Check it out and kick them all off, please. That should take about 3 months. When your done, I will give you some more. I will be your personal Storm trooper!

Alle Für Das Heimatland

Auf Wiedersehen
~e~

PS Could you let me know when my video is back up. Danke.

I always take things a bit to far.

Adios,
~e~

YouTube Nazis

Hello friends,

Do me a favor. Scroll down to the Alex Chilton story and click on the 3rd video 'Bangkok' for me. I'll wait....la ta de la ta da dooby dooby dooo...Ok, what did you see? I'll tell you what you saw, nothin', thats what. You see, I made that video, thank you very much, and Youtube yanked it from the site. This is what I saw when I tried lo log on to my Youtube account ~

ATTENTION
The following video(s) from your account have been disabled for violation of the YouTube Community Guidelines: •Bangkok - (ep13)
Most nudity is not allowed on YouTube, particularly if it is in a sexual context. Videos that are intended to be sexually provocative are also generally not acceptable for YouTube. There are exceptions for some educational, documentary and scientific content, but only if that is the sole purpose of the video and it is not sexually gratuitous.
Your account has received one Community Guidelines warning strike, which will expire in six months. Additional violations may result in the temporary disabling of your ability to post content to YouTube and/or the termination of your account.
Date Received: April 18, 2010

There was a little box at the bottom for me to click that said 'I acknowledge'. I didn't click it.

Here was my response to Youtube ~

Dear YouTube,

You bunch of SS wearing hypocrites. You jack boot my video for being offensive? Have you looked around your site, you bunch of blinder wearing Nazis. Hell, every clip I got for the video was off of YouTube, you idiots. Talk about offensive, how about that Prussian Blue 'Victory Day' music video or 'Anti American Animated Films on Iranian TV' or '9/11 CONSPIRACY: A CONTROLLED DEMOLITION DESTROYED THE WTC!!!' or 'White Noise - I Hate N...Mondays' or 'No Remorse - Deutschland'? And you gassed my Alex Chilton video for being offensive? Thank you for saving the world with your version of what is morale and what is not. Hitler tried to do the same thing.

"Videos that are intended to be sexually provocative are also generally not acceptable for YouTube. There are exceptions for some educational, documentary and scientific content, but only if that is the sole purpose of the video and it is not sexually gratuitous."

But it's OK to be a hate monger. What a joke!

"Your account has received one Community Guidelines warning strike..."

Oh no!!! Will that go on my permanent record along with skipping Mr. Tuckers math class in the 7th grade?

Stomp on the Constitution of the United States of America some more, Adolf.

Sieg Heil,
ep13

PS Does YouTube consider 'fuck you' to be offensive?

I guess that'll teachum' to mess with me, by God.

Here are a few clips that didn't get canned by Youtube. I'm not gonna show the racist videos. I won't give those pricks the honor of being on my site.







Adios,
~e~

The Most Greatest Story Ever Told

Here is a hunk from my book 'Drowning In The Shallow End Of The Dream Pool'

Hello Friends,

Here it is, the most greatest story ever told. Now, this is not to be confused with 'The Greatest Story Ever Told', this is the 'most greatest' story ever told. See the difference? This doesn't have to do with passin' out a bunch of stinky fishes or zombies or nothin', this has to do with my mom and pop. So, with out further ado, her is 'The Most Greatest Story Ever Told'.

Once upon a time, many, many, many, years ago, when I was somewhere around 16 or 17, I was in the Gilcrease Museum gift shop with my mom and pop. We had already been through the museum and were about ready to leave. Mom was off some where, talking to some complete stranger about God knows what, and pop and I were just standin' around doin' nothin' but waitin' on mom. All of a sudden here is mom and she is holding this fancy Indian necklace. Mom showed it to pop and said "Isn't this beautiful?" and pop did his trade mark 'open his eyes wide and jerk his head' move and replied "Boy howdy!" Then mom toddles off to tell the clerk some story that she could careless about (Now you know where I get it from)

After a few minutes here comes mom and she asks if we are ready to go. Pop asked her if she bought that necklace and mom replied "No" then informed pop that it was 900 smack-a-roos. Pop said with out hesitation "Oh, you need the check book" and reaches into his front shirt pocket to retrieve it (He didn't say 'let me buy it for you' or 'would you like to have it' He thought she didn't get it because she didn't have the check book) Mom said "On no, I don't want it" And we left.

Now, I am floored. I couldn't imagine that some one could just be throwin' around 900 bucks like that. He must be a some kinda millionaire or somethin', I thought. So I'm thinkin' if 900 dollarenies is nothin' to pop, maybe he will just give it to me. We left mom at the entrance of the joint while we went to get the car. Time to put my plan into action, I said "You know, since mom doesn't want that necklace, can I have the 900 donuts, pop....I mean...father? All I got was a non emotional, matter of fact, "No". Heck, he wasn't even lookin' at me, he was rubberneckin' around lookin' for the stupid car. As we pulled the Chrysler New Yorker around to pick up mom he tells me this story...not in the stupid way I'm tellin' y'all, but in his 'just the facts, get to the point' way of his. Pops way may be better, but he ain't here. Here is the story in the story.

Once upon a time, many, many, many, many, many, years ago, about 1949, lived a young couple named George and Betty. Now, George was fresh outta the Army Air Corp and WWII and Betty was fresh outta High school. George was from the country. He grew up during the depression in the oil fields some where between Olive and Oilton, Ok. And when I say country I mean if he wanted a glass of water, he didn't get it from some gadget squirtin' cold water and crushed ice that was built into the refrigerator door. He had to get a glass and go outside and pump water out of the bowles of the earth. Betty was from the city, Drumrite. She also grew up during the depression, but being from the big city, she had running water in her house. They now lived in an apartment on 6th and Rockford in Tulsa. Of course those two kids were married, because people didn't live together back then with out bein' hitched, cause if they did they would go to hell and they didn't want that. They had no car and no money. Not to mention, no big flat screen TV, microwave, computer, ipod, Sham Wow's, George Forman grill, or cell phones. If you wanted to call some one, not only did you have to actually know the number, but you had to physically dial it on a wheel with a bunch of holes in it. Ziiiip tick tick tick tick tick, ziiiip tick tick tick tick tick, ziiiip tick tick tick tick tick. It musta been a living hell back then.

Times were tough for those two. They rode the bus to and from work. Betty had just started working for the phone company and George worked at Retail Credit. They could barely make ends meet. One time after paying their bills, all that was left was one (1) dime. That's it, one stinking dime. This was all they had for the rest of the week. One stupid dime. Betty put the dime in the desk drawer. To make things worse, all they had to eat was a big bowl of macaroni salad. So for the next four days those two kids got up in the morning, ate a couple of spoonfuls of macaroni salad, walked to work, worked all day, walked home, ate a couple more spoonfuls, and went to bed. Friday, or better 'payday' finally came. They got up, ate a couple of spoonfuls, got ready to leave and opened the door to a rain storm. George went to the desk drawer and grabbed the dime. He told Betty to take the bus to work and on his lunch break he would run (literally) to the bank and cash his check so they could stop at the grocery store on their way home and get some food. Betty looked at George and said (This is great) "If your walking in the rain, I'm walking in the rain." And that's what they did friends, they walked to work in the rain...together. As they walked, George desided that he would go to college on the G.I. bill so he could a job that paid enough so this wouldn't happen again. And as he looked at his rain soaked bride, he made a silent promise to himself. He promised that when he got out of school and got that better paying job that he would never say 'no' to her. George did get out of school and become a engineer. He has designed, engineered, and built things, from skyscrapers to rockets. He is retired now, but still keeps his professional engineers license, number 5949, up to date. George and Betty have been married for over 63 years, and to this day he is still keeping his promise. And Betty, well she retired from the phone company and is still tellin' complete strangers the most interesting stories. She has never had to walk in the rain again.

I had never heard this story before that day. Mom filled in the blanks for me later but she never knew about the promise pop had made. But that's my father. It makes me wonder how many young brides today would walk in the rain. But that's my mother.

But on a sad note, pop didn't make any kind of promise to never say 'no' to his future son. He has no problem saying 'no' to me. Probably cause he knows I would have taken the stupid dime and got on the stupid bus.

And something else, mom, has never, and I mean never ever made macaroni salad again. Cross my heart.

Now, you tell me, is that not the most greatest story ever told?

Here are a few of the things pop was invoved with. Also, he was head engineer during the construction of the ONEOK building (the house that George built) at the top of the page. A million miles away from Retail Credit, city buses, and that little apartment on 6th and Rockford.




This is the kind of music that filled our house when I was growing up. There was always music playing in our house.






Adios,
~e~

My Stuff

Hello friends,

My buddy and his girlfriend (or should I say X girlfriend) that I have been stayin' with over on the west side are splittin' the sheets. Well, not exactly 'splittin', more like steelin' each others stuff. As a matter of fact they have been so busy steelin' each others stuff that they forgot to watch their stuff, so now they each have the other ones stuff and none of their own stuff. She has his multi meter and he has her make-up. He has her TV and she has his car (which she stole last night cause she totaled hers trying to follow him on the highway) She destroyed the safe that he had borrowed from me (that means it was my safe) And in the proses I have lost my Sony flat screen monitor, 32' flat screen TV, Walter P-380 pistol, surveillance camera, my watch, and a box of checks. Fortunately, I still have my Kimber 1911 Ultra Carry II, which I'm gonna show some one real soon if I don't get my shit back. Remember what Ronnie Van Zant of Lynyrd Skynyrd said? "I'm tellin' you son. That it ain't no fun, starin' straight down a .44" Well, I don't have a .44 I have a .45 and some west side crack head is gonna wind up on the business end it soon enough. Tweekin', mullet wearin', toothless, inbreed, Dale Earnhardt lovin', Metallica lisnin', high school dropin' out, bunch of worthless fucks. I WANT MY STUFF BACK!!!

You know what job I want? I want to be a 12th grade teacher on the west side. How sweet would that be? Hell, the parents over there are proud if there kids make it through 10th grade with out ODin' or being arrested. Stupid, non tooth brushin', Jiffy Lube workin', welfare gittin', 5 kid havin', junky car drivin', no insurance havin', bags of monkey shit.

Kimber Ultra Carry II



This is how I feel.

Adios,

~e~