I Am The Greatest Of All Time!

Hello friends,

I am hands down, the best, most stupendous, worlds greatest, pussy cat wrangler in the country. Maybe the world. Like my mama says "It ain't braggin' if it's true". And believe you me, it's the Gods honest truth. I bagged and tag a little tiny redheaded baby night before last. It took me all of 30 minutes to nab the little critter. Tracy has already found a home from him. You know what I'm hopin' for? I'm hopin' that someday I will be fortunate enough to catch one of those inbred f**kers tossin' a baby pussycat in the dumpster. What a glorious day that would be. First, I would thank God for delivering this sacrifice unto me. Second, I would shove my thumb in his eye socket until I hit gray matter (if any) then twist it back and forth real fast. Third, I would stomp on his nuts with my Chuck Taylor's until his tiny balls look like little Belgian waffles. And lastly, while he's laying there on the pavement wondering what went wrong with his 'throw away the pussycat' plan, I would relieve myself, I'm sorry friends, but I will piss all over his head. Then everyone will call him names like 'One Eyed Waffle Nuts' or 'Yella Headed Stinky Noodle' or 'Popeye the Cyclopsed Urine Boy' or somtnin' like that. That's what I'm hopin' for.

The coolest cat of all.

My Converse 'Chuck Taylors' or 'Waffel Makers'

Adios,
~e~