Hello friends,
The History~
A couple of years ago I had a little bout with the pleurisy. That's where the tissue between the ribs and lungs become inflamed. Great mother of God, I thought I was gonna die it hurt so bad. Any normal man would have lost his mind or committed suicide. Lucky for me I'm as tough as a herd of duck billed platypuses's. Anyway, the doctor told me the problem was my stomach was pushin' my lungs in to my heart or my lungs were pullin' on my pancreas or somethin' along those line. I'm not sure, cause I really wasn't paying attention. But in a nut shell, if I didn't lose my gut, well, basically I was gonna expire. So, two years go by and I haven't changed a thing. I thought if I ignored it, it would go away. It didn't. Some day that will work but as of yet I'm 0 for 2674 (my pop says it won't ever work, but I'm gonna show him someday) I thought about working out but that takes to much effort. Diet crossed my mind...for about 3 seconds. I can't go for walks cause it kills me not to run (that's how I got the pleurisy to begin with...runnin') And I've toyed with the idea about getting a bike, but Schwinn doesn't make Sting-Ray's for adults. Looks like I'm doomed and headed for the ol' marble orchard.
The Now~
Tracy wanted a bike for her birthday...I'm sorry, we don't celebrate her birthday anymore. Let me start over.
The Now~
Tracy wanted a bike for the Tracgiving day 'giving of the gifts' ritual. Tracgiving day is a day set aside to celebrate the knowing of Tracy. I got her this pearlescent pink beach cruiser. I got her the perfect bike...cause she picked it out. It's got a bell, a basket, a book rack, a light, a drink holder, a gadget that tells how fast your going, how far you've gone, average speed, top speed, how many calories burned, the time in Pango Pango, if your about to come in to money, and the color of your underwear. It's topped off with a pink flower on the handle bars. It's very glamorous.
Now, this all boils down to I'm gonna have to get a bicycle. I went to a fancy bike shop and looked at some fancy bikes. My shopping experience lasted a bit longer (but not much) than my thoughts about starting a diet. It's not that I couldn't afford one, it's that I just don't have that kind of money. So, I went to Target and bought about the first bike I came across. A blue Schwinn Legacy. It's frame was shaped kinda like the bright red Sting-Ray I had as a kid (the greatest bike in the world) so I bought it. I have modified it a bit. Not much, just a couple of tweaks to make my bike riding experience a little more enjoyable.
Here is what it looked like when I bought it~
The History~
A couple of years ago I had a little bout with the pleurisy. That's where the tissue between the ribs and lungs become inflamed. Great mother of God, I thought I was gonna die it hurt so bad. Any normal man would have lost his mind or committed suicide. Lucky for me I'm as tough as a herd of duck billed platypuses's. Anyway, the doctor told me the problem was my stomach was pushin' my lungs in to my heart or my lungs were pullin' on my pancreas or somethin' along those line. I'm not sure, cause I really wasn't paying attention. But in a nut shell, if I didn't lose my gut, well, basically I was gonna expire. So, two years go by and I haven't changed a thing. I thought if I ignored it, it would go away. It didn't. Some day that will work but as of yet I'm 0 for 2674 (my pop says it won't ever work, but I'm gonna show him someday) I thought about working out but that takes to much effort. Diet crossed my mind...for about 3 seconds. I can't go for walks cause it kills me not to run (that's how I got the pleurisy to begin with...runnin') And I've toyed with the idea about getting a bike, but Schwinn doesn't make Sting-Ray's for adults. Looks like I'm doomed and headed for the ol' marble orchard.
The Now~
Tracy wanted a bike for her birthday...I'm sorry, we don't celebrate her birthday anymore. Let me start over.
The Now~
Tracy wanted a bike for the Tracgiving day 'giving of the gifts' ritual. Tracgiving day is a day set aside to celebrate the knowing of Tracy. I got her this pearlescent pink beach cruiser. I got her the perfect bike...cause she picked it out. It's got a bell, a basket, a book rack, a light, a drink holder, a gadget that tells how fast your going, how far you've gone, average speed, top speed, how many calories burned, the time in Pango Pango, if your about to come in to money, and the color of your underwear. It's topped off with a pink flower on the handle bars. It's very glamorous.
Now, this all boils down to I'm gonna have to get a bicycle. I went to a fancy bike shop and looked at some fancy bikes. My shopping experience lasted a bit longer (but not much) than my thoughts about starting a diet. It's not that I couldn't afford one, it's that I just don't have that kind of money. So, I went to Target and bought about the first bike I came across. A blue Schwinn Legacy. It's frame was shaped kinda like the bright red Sting-Ray I had as a kid (the greatest bike in the world) so I bought it. I have modified it a bit. Not much, just a couple of tweaks to make my bike riding experience a little more enjoyable.
Here is what it looked like when I bought it~
Here it is today~
.JPG)
I named her Death-Ray cause what use to be an easy bike to ride has turned into a flat black death machine that's gonna pump my ass strait to the coroner if I don't pay attention and the Schwinn Sting-Ray which was the greatest bicycle ever built. I just mashed'um together and that's what I got, Death-Ray. Get it? Very clever I am at times. Don't she look great tho? I love her big, fat Kenda Flame rear tire with a red Nirve rear wheel, 19' ape hangers that I have wrapped with friction tape, a water proof banana seat, a raked springer front end, a Bonneville Salt Flats #13 race plate, black flame grips, 8 ball valve caps, dice rear axle nuts, a baby skeleton squeak-squeak horn, and a chrome skull hood ornament. I love my bike. I love, love, loooooove it. I'm not done with it either. I have a pair of 4" iron cross front axle spinners ordered and I'm gonna get some MP3 speakers that hook to the goose neck so I can blast Motorhead or the Ramones as I fly down the river parks.The future~
So if your driving down Riverside Drive, there is no need to look for me, cause brother you couldn't miss me if you tried. Oh yeah, with all the time and money I've spent on the Death-Ray, it guess I could have bought one of those fancy bikes at the fancy bike store after all....but, I'm not that fancy and then I wouldn't have the most coolest bike on the planet, would I?
Motorhead playing their tribute to the Ramones ~ R.A.M.O.N.E.S
Adios,
~e~
No comments:
Post a Comment