Splintered Hearts on the Wooden Deck of Love

---- James sent me this photo he took on his way back home of a 63 split.

Hello friends,

Well, I went to that party that I thought I might get clipped at...and...I guess you figured out that since I am writin' this, there was no whackin' goin' on (Man, there are so many funny things to write here that I will just have to pass) There were a ton of people there that I hadn't seen in a couple a tons of years. Phillip Young, James 'Jimi Lime' Kirsch, Joey Reidy (I actually see Joe from time to time and we see who can out talk each other. He always wins) Now, there were a few lady's there that I went to school with and the funny thing is, that everyone of them had a thing for your humble story teller at on time or another. I don't mean a couple of them or a few of them, I mean every one of them! Yes, it's true. Boy, was I shocked. What are the odds that every doll in the joint usta be daffy over yours truly? And what was even funnier was...well...I guess most of them still haven't gotten over me yet, sad to say. It must be my brutal boyish good looks or my masculine fur-moans or somethin'. True, I am a sexual Tyrannosaurus, but you would think over time they would have gotten usta mediocrity. I don't know. Oh, and the little games they played that night, a couple of them said hi and walked on by, but I was on to'um. A couple of them acted like they new my face but couldn't remember my name. Ha, good try gals. Heck, several of them had the nerve to act like they didn't even remember me at all, that's how broken up they are. And they all gave Oscar winning performances I must say. Heck, if you didn't know better you would think that they were never noggin over piggies in luuuuv with me. A gaggle of little Meryl Streeps, they were.
James told me that after I left things really went south. Suzy locked herself in the upstairs bathroom and they had to have the maid put her in a full nelson to get her out. Vicky ran out the door crying and crashed in to a tree, breaking her new designer glasses. Missy downed a 5th of Everclear, climbed up on the picnic table and started singing 'America the Beautiful' but substituted my name for America, Rebbecca kissed the refrigerator door, called it 'Eddy Bear', then punched it right in the crisper, Pam and Kathy got into a cat fight (Careful Pam, Kathy grew up with hockey players) which I heard someone video taped and has now become the number one watched video on Youtube. And Rhonda slapped Joey across the face and said something about being a man or not measurin' up or somethin' along them lines.
....but....you know....then again....I might have completely misunderstood him.

I believe this song might explain things, lady's. I like you all, but as friends.

I have recently found out that my stuff is being read over the radio bi-weekly in Asia. I guess a lot of Asianiuns don't have computers, so as a gift to them I am adding subtitles to this video. If you can read Asian, follow along.




How true is this?

Adios,
~e~