How Dumb Do I Look?

Hello friends,

Neighbors, let me ask you something. How dumb do I look? Well, I'm tellin' you it must be pretty darn dumb cause if they think I'm gonna fall for it they are crazy. You see, I got an e-mail from a "friend" yesterday. I opened it to find it was an invitation to a party. Great, I love parties. Now it seems that the party is for another old "friend" who I went to high school with. I guess he's ridin' a greyhound up from one of those really hot inferno states that are chalk full of cacti, snakes, and cracked earth (Sounds like heaven...no, wait a minute. That is not what it sounds like) The old "friends" name is James Kirsch. If that name sounds familiar, it should because I wrote a story a couple of stories back about a vision named Julie Kirsch. Now, the names being similar is no coincidence, James is Julie's younger brother (It's funny how that beauty gene hits some people right in the mush but will fly past others like a SR-71. Humm, doesn't seem fair, does it?) Anyway, I don't believe him coming in to town is a coincidence either. It's lookin' like I have besmirched the Kirsch family name with that whole 'face was right at boob level' statement. It looks like Jimi 'the Lime' Kirsch and his hired goon Suzy 'the Belding' Stewart are fixin' the wack me. It's a hit, friends. A good, old fashion, Machine Gun Jack McGurn, button pushin'. (Who do they think they are they, the Gambinos?)----------------------------------- Machine Gun Jack McGurn

I can see it now, I'm standin' on the front porch, my hair combed and parted on the side, my shirt tucked in to my navy blue Haggar double knit slacks, and a copy of the Frampton Comes Alive album in my hand (You should always bring a gift. It's just good manners) I look like it's picture day at MacArthur Elementary School. I can hear the music coming from the other side of the door. It sounds like they are really living it up in there. There is a note taped to the door bell that reads ~

----------------------------'JUST COME ON IN'

I strut through the door only to find the room empty. While thinking that I must be early, I hear the door close. I turn around and the last thing I remember is seeing Jimi 'the Lime' swingin' a sack of door knobs right at my ol' cabbage. And that's how I wind up in the gullet of a 7ft channel cat somewhere below the Keystone dam, damn it.

---------------------------------------The Keystone Dam
------------------------------------------7ft Catfish

But you see, I'm to smrt for them. I know it's a set up because I hardly ever never get invited to parties. And if I do I usually get beat up by someone. I remember the last time I went to a party, someone clubbed me from behind with a frozen ham and the next thing I know, I'm waking up on a city bus headed for 36th Street North and Lansing, buck naked with a pair of those funny glasses with the springy eye balls duct taped to my head. Oh no, I'm not gonna fall for that one three times.

So you have fun at your party Jimi 'the Lime'. You, and your torpedo Suzy 'the Belding'. But I just want you to know that while your not using ol' Eddy as a human pinata, ol' Eddy will be hiding someplace like big ol' girl, listening to 'You Make Me Feel Like Dancing' and thinkin' about dippin' and spinin' your sister from one end of the Pink Barn to the other. Just like I did in 7th grade.

Here is Peter Frampton before his solo thing in 1969. This is Humble Pie doing their complete 'Little Queenie' rip off 'Natural Born Boogie'.

Here is Jerry and Keith kickin' lil' Queenie.

I remember when I usta fly one of these babies a few years back...but I can't talk about it. It's top secrete.

Adios,
~e~