The End

Hello friends,

The other day I had a near death experience, so that got me thinking about the here after and all that goes along with it. I guess I have thought about it more than I thought I have thought about it. I have a verse in a song I wrote that goes somethin' like this ~

'Sometimes the weight is just to much to bare
and if I pass away is there anyone who'd care
would any tears for me be shed
or mournful words of Christ on that day said
you know this world, it brings me down
I guess I've lost what everybodys found
and I ain't got nothin' to bring me round
on the streets of this dead town'

Anyway, as far as salvation goes, I figure I have already done so much of the fun stuff that it would be pretty dern hard to dig myself out. Plus, I'm a weak, weak individual and would just keep fallin' back and I don't know if I could deal with all of the failure so we will just say I flunked that part of the test and move forward. No point worrying about something we can't do anything about, I say. So, I'm left with planing my funeral. OK, I'm tellin' you all so if something happens to me someone will know what the hell is going on. I am also assigning jobs to some of you, so don't let me down team.

1) Tecla B. is to head the hole mess up. God help ya'll.

2) James J, Joe B, and Jon P ~ I want a white, cheap, crappy casket with a box of sharpies next to it. (you guys gotta buy it too) That way anybody who happens to come to the funeral can write something stupid on it. Please watch your language cause of my mother. You can even draw glasses and a mustache on me if you want. That would be a riot.

3) Judi D. ~ You are the MC cause your pretty and everyone will like lookin' at you. (you can't get mad Jim cause I'm dead, sorry) I don't want some preacher that I don't know talkin' about my soul. That's really nobodies business. I want people to get up and talk about what a swell fella I was or any goofy thing they can think of as long as it in someway makes fun of Roger. Like the Easter basket story....what a knucklehead.

4) I would like to have some of my musician friends have a little jam thing ago-in. Brother Bagsby is in charge of that.

5) David C. ~ Your gonna be the greeter cause you kinda look like you work in a funeral home anyway, but mostly cause you would say some of the funniest things that no one would get.

6) Billy Earl P. ~ You get to make all the lists.

7) Nipper ~ You get to give everyone that comes in a ticket and have a drawing to give away the door prizes.
a- My cool pin-up girl collection

b- A copy of a picture of my dumb ass in 9th grade with some stupid metal shop
glasses on.

c- My smashed penny collection (and I got a bunch of um) You'll wanna win this one.

d- My fav-O-rite Motorhead shirt

8) Roger H. and Scott J. ~ You guys get to stand up front so everyone can see Rogers face when the stories are being told and Scott can stand there and laugh.

9) Cathy S. ~ I would like some go-go dancers. Like the ones on laugh In, but with out the body painting.

10) I want to wear my chucks, my tan Dickie's, and my Ramones T shirt. This job goes to Tracy cause she is the only one who can find' um.

Now, that takes care of that. Next is the burial. Jason O. this is your baby.

I want one of those little marble houses with the big iron door. I want a motion detector rigged up to a recorder so that when anyone walks by it will go off and and they will her me saying "Hey you, come in here and check this crap out." And on the inside I want a soda machine, my white, cheap, crappy, coffin with a T.V. sitting on it, a little table with a chair and a bunch of multi-colored rope lights. On the wall next to the chair is a big red button with a sign that says ~

"Well It Ain't Gonna Push It's Self"

Then when you push it the T.V comes on and tells my life story! (as told by me, not any of you liars) Man-O-man, what do you think about them apples?

Here is a list of the songs to be played ~

The seating --

Mr. Moto by Agent Orange
Tiger Man by Elvis
Motorhead by Motorhead
Honey Hush by The Pirates
Big Little Baby by The Reverend Horton Heat
Voo-Doo Cadillac by Southern Culture On The Skids
Let's Go For A Ride by Cracker

Amazing Grace by The Drop Kick Murphys

During -- my goofy friends can play what ever they want.

The end --
Here Comes The Sun by The Beatles
What A Wonderful World by Joey Ramone



Adios,
~e~