Lady Coppers

Hello friends,

Well, I was this close to writin' y'all from the friendly confines of the David L. Moss Correctional Center in lovely north downtown Tulsa (don't ask me how I know where it is located) See, I was walking to the Fiesta Mart after that big rain storm we had today. As I was crossing the main thoroughfare, I see the police had the road blocked off cause a power line had been crashed into and knocked over. Then I notice a pick-up truck broke down on the side street with a nervous lookin' dude pacing around on his cell phone. Now I'm no Dick Tracy, but I figure he's the cat that whacked that pole. I doesn't look like the fuzz has spotted him yet, so I walk over and tell him if I was him I would leave the truck and amscray outta there. Vamoose. So, he heads off down the road and I head back to the Fiesta Mart. Next thing I hear is someone yell "Come back here!" It looks like the jig is up. Here come two (2) female coppers waddling up with there fancy utility belts a jing, jing, jing-a-lin. I turn around and one of them policettes holler "Which one of you was driving?" Great, here we go. I said that I had walked over there from my house. "Sure you did" she said "let me see your I.D." I reach for my wallet and grab a handful of nothin' but my fat ass. Damn it, I left my wallet at home. "I left my wallet at home, want me to walk home and get it?" I asked. "You stay right there, bud" (bud???) she ordered. She said "I'm not going to ask you again, who was driving?' "I don't know" I said. She raised her voice "Tell me which one of you was driving that truck" CRAP!!! I knew better, I didn't want to, but it happened anyway. I couldn't stop it. It was like when your sick and feel like your gonna puke. As hard as I tried it still came out. "I thought you weren't going to ask me that again" Well friends, they didn't think I was as funny as I do, it seems. I finally convinced them that I wasn't in the truck but, then they wanted me to tell them that I saw that one dude smash the pole, but I'm no snitch. They wanted me to tell them I saw him get out of the truck, but I'm no snitch. They wanted me to tell them that I saw him messin' around that truck, but I'm no snitch. They threatened to run me in for failure to cooperate with an investigation, but I'm no snitch. They finally told me to go home. I walked home on two legs like a man, not on all fours like a rat. There are enough rats and snitches in this world anyway, they don't need one more. They took that fella to jail anyway. It seems there were several other people around there willing to squeal like pigs for the fine women in blue. Oink, oink.

I Fought The Law


Police Truck


Adios,
~e~

All Aboard

Hello friends,

There has been a lot of really sad news lately. Nothing national, just random misfortune linking souls together through a spider web of friendship. I read an e-mail from an old friend of mine, Alicia Brown, and she wrote ~

" ...I thank God every day for the memories. I feel that the best for thing for me to do right now is to share the memories that I have, smile always, laugh often, love life, value everything we touch, and pass this on to our children."

I think this is very good advice. Now, I don't have any children to pass anything along to (if I did have kids I'm sure I would have misplaced them by now so It's probably for the best) So I am gonna give you, my friends, some memories. This is for y'all who grew up in Tulsa through the 60's, 70's, and 80's. Now I wasn't born until 1976 but I have a couple of much older sisters who told me about this stuff. If you weren't raised in Tulsa or you are to young to remember any of this, I hope you enjoy some of it anyway.

------------------ ***

Allllllll aboard!!! We are now loading at gate 13 at the Eddy International Memory Train Station for passengers traveling to the past. Have your tickets ready cause the ticket taker don't like waitin'. We will be departing immediately, so hang on to your hats.

First stop John Chick Junction ~

All off for Scream in the Dark ~
http://tulsatvmemories.com/mahu.html

Have your ticket ready for the King Town~

Next stop Uncle Zebville ~

(what the hell is he talkin' about?)

You don't have to get off here if you don't want to but next stop is Lindaburg ~

For your entertainment we have Tulsa's own JJ Cale ~

And now the movie for the VIP passengers ~

I hope you enjoyed your trip, now get off my memory train before I think about something that could land us all in jail.

Adios,
~e~

Sally Mae and the Westboro Baptist Church

REMOVED

Wonderin'

Hello friends,

I was thinkin', but have you noticed that everyone who is against all that health care reform business already has health care? Hummmm, just wonderin'.



Adios,
~e~

Splintered Hearts on the Wooden Deck of Love

---- James sent me this photo he took on his way back home of a 63 split.

Hello friends,

Well, I went to that party that I thought I might get clipped at...and...I guess you figured out that since I am writin' this, there was no whackin' goin' on (Man, there are so many funny things to write here that I will just have to pass) There were a ton of people there that I hadn't seen in a couple a tons of years. Phillip Young, James 'Jimi Lime' Kirsch, Joey Reidy (I actually see Joe from time to time and we see who can out talk each other. He always wins) Now, there were a few lady's there that I went to school with and the funny thing is, that everyone of them had a thing for your humble story teller at on time or another. I don't mean a couple of them or a few of them, I mean every one of them! Yes, it's true. Boy, was I shocked. What are the odds that every doll in the joint usta be daffy over yours truly? And what was even funnier was...well...I guess most of them still haven't gotten over me yet, sad to say. It must be my brutal boyish good looks or my masculine fur-moans or somethin'. True, I am a sexual Tyrannosaurus, but you would think over time they would have gotten usta mediocrity. I don't know. Oh, and the little games they played that night, a couple of them said hi and walked on by, but I was on to'um. A couple of them acted like they new my face but couldn't remember my name. Ha, good try gals. Heck, several of them had the nerve to act like they didn't even remember me at all, that's how broken up they are. And they all gave Oscar winning performances I must say. Heck, if you didn't know better you would think that they were never noggin over piggies in luuuuv with me. A gaggle of little Meryl Streeps, they were.
James told me that after I left things really went south. Suzy locked herself in the upstairs bathroom and they had to have the maid put her in a full nelson to get her out. Vicky ran out the door crying and crashed in to a tree, breaking her new designer glasses. Missy downed a 5th of Everclear, climbed up on the picnic table and started singing 'America the Beautiful' but substituted my name for America, Rebbecca kissed the refrigerator door, called it 'Eddy Bear', then punched it right in the crisper, Pam and Kathy got into a cat fight (Careful Pam, Kathy grew up with hockey players) which I heard someone video taped and has now become the number one watched video on Youtube. And Rhonda slapped Joey across the face and said something about being a man or not measurin' up or somethin' along them lines.
....but....you know....then again....I might have completely misunderstood him.

I believe this song might explain things, lady's. I like you all, but as friends.

I have recently found out that my stuff is being read over the radio bi-weekly in Asia. I guess a lot of Asianiuns don't have computers, so as a gift to them I am adding subtitles to this video. If you can read Asian, follow along.




How true is this?

Adios,
~e~

Lee Houston

Hello friends,

I heard today that an old friend of mine, Lee Houston has died. Wow, I'm floored. I haven't seen Lee in years, but man, it still hits home. I remember he lived in Johanson Acres (when I was a kid I thought that was where all the rich people lived) I remember his house backed up to the wall that surrounded the Ma-Hu (pronounced may-hue, but we all called it ma-who) Mansion. I remember he had a huge, slobbering, St. Bernard but I don't remember it's name. I remember jumping on his giant trampoline and riding his cool motorcycle. You know I have a confession to make. I have always said that 'Wipe Out' was the first rock and roll song I learned to play. Well, not exactly. It was the first song I learned to play the whole way through, but before I even owned a guitar Lee showed me how to bang out the intro to (you guessed it) 'Smoke On The Water' using only the E (top) string. I guess as much as I hate to conform or hate to be like anyone else, I am exactly the same as 10 bazillion kids who pick up their friends guitar and were taught the 'Deep Purple' classic. What a cool club to be in. Thank you for that, Lee.

My thoughts are with all of Lee Houston's family and friends.

I hope this doesn't seem inappropriate, but it seems to be the only appropriate thing to me.

This is the first song I learned to play. Smoke on the Water.

Adios,
~e~

Neat-O Stuff

Hello friends,

Wow, I got a little worked up on that whole LA Fitness shooting thing, didn't I? Oh well, sometimes I do that. So I'm gonna lighten the mood a bit. I'm gonna spear y'all some stupid story and share a few nifty things with you. Here you go.

-I think this is gonna be my new look. I hope they still make that kinda shampoo.
--------------------------------One of my fav-O-rite pin-ups
-------------------------How cool are these buildings?

-------------------------------------How cool is T-Rex?

=----------------------------==The funniest man on earth

----------------------------------Oh, mama!

--------------------------------------------Jumpin'
----------------------------------Another pin-up doosey
---------------------------------------Ninja Pussycat

------------------------------------------Doctors


----------------------------------------------------Deadbolt

I hope y'all found somethin' you liked.
Adios,
~e~