Gittin' My Ass Handed Too Me

Hello friends,

Today has to be the worst day of card playin' I have ever had the privilege of not enjoying. Good Lord, it wasn't that I wasn't gittin' cards, I can deal with that, but I was gittin' some pretty snappy hands and I got sucked out every time. The only hands I won were a couple that I bluffed on. Here are three (3) examples of what got shoved up me today. There were more but I'll just give you a little taste.

Example #1 ~ I get A,K - I bet - (all fold except for this one dude who fancies himself the room pro and some cat that looks like Lamont on Sanford and Son)
Flop - A,7,K (I flopped two pair) Lamont checks - I bet the piss out of it - club pro folds -Lamont calls
Turn - ? (The ? means I don't remember the card and it doesn't matter) Lamont checks - I bet - He calls
River - 7. Lamont goes all in - I call - Lamont wins cause he caught a full house with that stupid 7. (I feel the big one Ethel)

Example #2 ~ I get Q,Q - I bet hard - the hillbilly chick settin' in the #1 seat calls ( I can hardly understand her cause I am fixated on her helmet hair-do with these lovely 80's bangs, the kind that go out then hook back to the forehead, and her stupid, wrinkled, navy blue wind breaker)
Flop - 2,?,? - I bet - Mannequin head calls
Turn - 2 (Christ, I see the writing on the wall) I try to bet her off but no-can-do - she calls
Flop - ? she had a deuce which gives her trips and I lose again

Here is the best one
Example #3 ~ I get A ,10 of clubs - I limp in - Mannequin head calls
Flop - ?,?,? suited clubs (So I have flopped a nut flush, the best possible hand at this point)
I go all in and the queen of the trailer park follows - We show our cards - she has 4,4
Turn - 4 (I can feel the air being sucked out of the room and it being filled back up with piss. I am now swimming in a urine filled vat waiting to be pulled under by a three toothed, Lynyrd Skynyrd lovin', squid)
River - 4 (Quad 4's!!! Stupid wind breaker, helmet headed, hayseed!)

But, I believe in being a good sport so I said "Nice one" but the whole time I was thinking I hope her meth lab burns up her double wide up tonight.

I'm not going to say how much money I lost today but I will say that it's lucky I don't own a flame thrower.

You know, the band Lynyrd Skynyrd is like a Pit Bull. Pit Bulls are good dogs they just have bad owners, where as Skynyrd (as they're known in the trailer court) was a good band, they just have bad fans.


Adios,
~e~