Hello friends,

Ol' Gracy pulled it out for me again. She sold for about $2,500.00! That's two thousand five hundred dollareenies. I was hoping to get $2,000.00 for her if I was lucky, so I am very happy......about the money. I have written a gazillion songs with her and sang even more. It is hard to describe the weird relationship between a guitar player and his guitar. Well, I still have 'Blondie' and a couple of others. I'm not really a good enough player for her anyway. She needs to be with some cool jazz cat. I'm gonna miss ya gal.

Thanks to all of you who understood how I felt. Thanks for trying to talk me out of selling her and for the offers to buy her. You guys made my Christmas so much better.

Tracy got me a turn table that I can rig up to Squeaky Pete (my PC) for Christmas. Man, how cool is that? Now I can download all my old vinyl to Cd's. Right on! Thanks, kitten.

This is a version I'm sure you have never heard. This is kinda how I feel right now. I know, I know, I'm a dramatic sap.



Adios,
~e~

Amazing Grace

My Gracy

Hello friends,

Well, I got 1 day and 11 hours before Grace is no longer your humble story tellers. I was having a tough time with the idea of selling her, but I'm OK with it now. I am getting more out of this than I expected. You see, some of my friends that I use to work with were gonna pitch in and buy her, then give her back to me. The 4 J's. Jason, James, Jon, and Joe. A Christmas gift I guess. But my buddies hearts are bigger than their knowledge of guitars, so when they looked her up on the ol' Google box and saw how much she was worth they backed out like a crawdad on crack. It doesn't matter tho, the idea that they wanted to do it is a pretty keen Christmas present in it's self. I have tried to think about what I have done to get them to want to do that for me. I don't know. They are a bunch of alright cats, cheap, but alright. It might be because we are all members (the only members) of the Loyal Order Of The Gilded Beaver, mobile Beaver lodge 13, Tulsa Oklahoma. All Hail Beaver Maggee!!!

Here is a helpful tip for all you men out there. If you are doin' a little Christmas shoppin' for your dolly, and you go to one of those fancy underwear joints in the mall, I don't care how fat her ass is you buy size small panties. I don't care if she can't get those things around her ankle, you buy small, got it? She can go back and exchange them. Get you one of those gift receipts. Cause let me tell you somethin' brother, if you get anything besides a size small you are just askin' for a bump on the ol' coconut and/or no hubba-hubba for a coons age. And if she says "Small, I can't were these" (she won't, but if she does) you say to her "Are you kiddin', baby you got the rump of a 10 year old boy!" Glad I could help you out.

My last Christmas song of the year. Check out the Guitar Elvis is playing.



Adios,
~e~

PS ~ To the 4 J's, I didn't really mean it when I wrote 'cheap'. You guys are the greatest. Thanks.

Santa Claus Is Coming To Town

Hello friends,

Well, I made a little Christmas video to love and hold and call my own. Since I saw the Rev last week (and let me tell you those cats delivered, as usual) and since Tracy bought their Christmas CD (I strongly recommend by the way) I thought I would do the band a great big favor and make them a video. They loved it so much they are speechless! That's why I haven't heard anything from them. I just hope I don't hear from their lawyers, cause I completely ripped everything in that clip off. This is my Christmas present to you.

I am selling a guitar on e-bay. Please, buy it.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT&item=260334354784

Get your very own Reverend Horton Heat Christmas CD here ~

(it's only ten bucks!)

http://www.reverendhortonheat.com/merch.php

Santa Clause Is Coming To Town

Adios,
~e~

Hello friends,

Well, Christmas is almost upon us, so that means it is time for one of my very deep and thoughtful story's about the true meaning of Christmas. But you ain't gittin' one this year. No story about giving or helping or doing something good. No story trying to guilt you into doing the right thing or loving your fellow man. Nope, none of that crap, this is what your gittin'. And I believe this is the first time I have ever said this and I hope it's the last. I have always hated hearing people say these words, but here I go ~ I can't wait till it's over ~ There you have it. Christmas has always been my favorite holiday. I use to be the idiot humming along with the piped in Christmas music at the mall. I use to be the idiot who wore one of those stupid Santa hats and a red knit scarf around my neck tucked in to my super cool Johnny Ramone leather jacket. I was the idiot who played Santa at the company Christmas party last year. I am also the idiot who forgot to take off my neat-o Kieth Richards skull ring so it couldn't be seen in the photos with the kids. Sorry bout that kiddos. I use to be the idiot who gave money to the bell ringing Santa outside the store. I use to be. Now I'm just a regular, bitchin' and complainin' idiot like everyone else, and I don't like being like everyone else.

I am also sick and tired of listening to knuckleheads argue about people saying 'Happy Holidays' instead of 'Merry Christmas'. Who cares?! I don't give a shit what you call it. Call it 'Butterscotch Bumpkin' Day' for all I care. There are more important things to get upset about than that. You say they are taking the 'Christ' out of Christmas? Aren't we all responsible for that in one way or another, with our lights, and our 'Black Friday', and our fancy wreath on the front of our SUV? Do you think that God is so weak that people saying 'Happy Holidays' instead of 'Merry Christmas' will kill him? Do you?! If you do your stupid. Have we all forgotten what Christmas is all about? Remember what the ghost of Jacob Marley said to Ebenezer Scrooge in Charles Dickens 'A Christmas Carol' he said ~

"Business! Mankind was my business. The common welfare was my business; charity, mercy, forbearance, and benevolence, were, all, my business. The dealings of my trade were but a drop of water in the comprehensive ocean of my business!"

Christmas is the day that we not only celebrate the birth of Christ, but the birth of a new beginning. A new beginning for all people. All people. Their are a lot of people out there that know the book, but don't know the man.

Well, I lied. I got pissed off and told you the meaning of Christmas anyway, like I said I wasn't gonna do. Sorry.

Did you know that suicides are not greater around the holidays? Hard to believe but true.


Here is a Christmas song.......yippee.




Adios,
~e~

Bettie Page, The Rev, And The Best Girlfriend In The Whole Wide World!

Bettie Page

1923 ~ 2008

Hello friends,

Well, I just found out that Bettie Page died yesterday. She was 85. Most of you probably don't care or even know who she is, but in my circle she's a pretty big deal. Adios doll.

Tracy came up to me yesterday evening and asked "Who's the greatest girlfriend in the whole wide world?" Now friends, let me tell you something, I'm not so smart but I know the answer to that question. "You" I said with out hesitation, cause if I woulda hesitated I would be typing this with a busted lip and a mashed toe or two. Not to mention gift-less, cause when she asks me that she has something swell in store for me. The first time she asked me that a couple a years back I thought it was a trick question. Then my brain froze up and I couldn't remember her name. I'm standing there staring her in the eyes, the girl I live with, tongue tide. Think stupid, think. I was scared to death I was gonna say the wrong name (I don't work well under pressure) After stammering around for a second or two I screamed at the top of my lungs "TRACY!". She looked at me with that wrinkled forehead thing she does when I do something stupid and said "Why are you screaming at me?" "Ah....cause I love you so much?" I said. She just rolled her eyes and gave me this cool tin robot she bought for me. But yesterday I pulled it off with out a hitch and she whipped out to two tickets to the Reverend Horton Heat/Nashville Pussy show tonight at the Cain's Ballroom. She is the best girlfriend in the whole wide world! If you have never seen the Rev, you should. He puts on one of the best shows you will ever see.

For those of you how don't know, the night Tracy and I met (4 years or so ago) I asked her if she would like to go see the Rev with me, who was playing the following evening. She said she would love to go, then she stood my dumb ass up. She will have a tough time standing me up this time cause we live in the same house, plus I'm gonna keep my eye on her.

Here is a little movie I made that has a few shots of Bettie Page in it. Oh man, I love brunettes.




And here is the Reverend Horton Heat.




Adios,
~e~

Hello friends,

For some reason this bloggin' crap doesn't feel right. I guess it will take a little gittin' use to.

I was in a public restroom today and noticed one of those metal gizmo's that hangs on the wall where you can get a seat cover made out of paper. So I'm standing there, doing what I'm doing, and looking at that thing when it dawns on me. If a person is so scared that there are germs or disease or little critters or....well....you know, on that seat, do they think that just a thin piece of paper between it and their bare ass is gonna help? Maybe if it was covered with antibacterial goop or made out of lead it would work, but it seams to me like a big waste of time and paper. The thing that is most bizarre about my whole bathroom ordeal today is that I would think of that. I guess I just have one of those analytical type minds. Lucky me.

Steve B. sent me this video. These cats are all street preformers from all around the world. It is wonderful.

Adios,
~e~

The Big 1

Hello friends,

Well, I have gone and done it. I have caved in to the pressure and got one of these do-whichits. Besides, my e-mail list was to big for Yahoo to send it, some of you were complainin' about all the replies, and I have been thinking about doing this for a while anyway. But truth be known, I hate the idea of being a "blogger". Before I was just an e-mailer, now look at me. I guess it's kinda like doin' drugs, one day your smokeing a joint with some friends behind the Q-Spot, then before you know it your bangin' heroin under you eye lid in the Hollywood Hills. Anyway, I hope this is easier for y'all. Christ, the things I do for you.

Adios,
~e~

*ONE*