Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Activia, Nutrisystem, and the Snake

--------------------------Kenny 'the Snake' Stabler

Hello Friends,

My pop has a plethora of sayings, and two of them are ~
1) Ignorance runs ramped.
B) There are more stupid people than there are smart people.
(Y
ou may fall in to this category, so pay attention )

For example, if you don't know what a word or phrase means, then ask some one or look it up. Just because Activia yogurt has 'Bifidus Regularis' doesn't mean it's good for you. Hell, for all you know, Bifidus Regularis, could be Latino for a bunch of mashed up worms or somethin'. Or that Nutrisystem uses the 'glisemic index'. What the hell is that? That sounds like something I was suppose to do on my senior term paper...but didn't.

Don't fall for the "It's real man food" B.S. If Danny boy Marino was a real man he would have won a Super Bowl. You wouldn't catch Kenny Stabler doing a Nutrisystem commercial...unless they start a cocaine and hooker program
(Count me in, Snake!)
Also, it looks like Lawrence Taylor is back on crack....it's sad.

If some diet plan, money makin' scheme, or fancy work out gizmo tells you that "It's easy!" or "You can eat what ever you want!" or "Good as new!" or "Make a million dollars for doing nothing!" or "Lose weight while watching TV!" or "Get your bachelors degree in physics in three weeks, on-line!" or "Works in seconds and holds up to 1000 pounds!" or "We can't do this all day!" or "I lost 127 bounds in 8 minutes!" or "And now, because I attended Shifties get rich seminar, I earn $15,000.00 every half hour!" or "It can't fail, it has 'Lowsiferius Bluclride Fossfate' added!" or "I got this rock hard stomach by eating lard and playing peaknuckle with the boys!" or "Don't accept imitations. These are real Diamells" or "Buy this, you idget!", if they say one of those, don't buy it.

Remember, just because they "double" the offer, doesn't mean it's a good deal. As a matter of fact, two pieces of crap are worse than one piece of crap.


New and improved? How the hell can it be 'new' AND 'improved'? And what were you selling me before, a sub par product?

Don't be stupid! If you think that the girls on those late night chat line commercials are the girls you'll be a chatin' with, then you are not gonna be much help with advancing the human race.

THINK! Question everything. If it sounds to good to be true......
The Snake



When Axl Rose told Kurt Cobain he was going to "take him to the pavement" back stage at the MTV Music Awards Show (Kurt was holding his new born daughter at the time) Lar's (the guitar player with the yellow shirt) said "What abut me, Hansel?". Axl bowed up and Lars knocked one of his (Axl's) front teeth out.
This is Rancid bangin' 'Time Bomb'




Hell's bells, that sounded so good I'm gonna play another.
Here is 'Salvation'
"Cool baby, won't you show me what you got, yeah?"



Adios,
~e~


Next time your having a boys night out and some smokin' hot dolly is hittin' on you and acts like everything you say is interesting, remember these words.....Check-A-Mate.






Friday, January 8, 2010

Trenton 'Dozer' Beaver

Hello friends,

Well, today I was gonna write and tell y'all a bit about my book 'Drowning In The Shallow End Of The Dream Pool' and give y'all a couple of lines from it....but....let me back up a smidgen. Everything I write, I write in my e-mail. That way I can access it from any PC and if Squeaky Pete decided to crash and burn, I would still have it. So, today I go to my e-mail and I see that my friend Judi was asked to send out a prayer request from a old classmate, Joe Miller. This is what it said...


...Tenton "Dozer" Beaver....has been diagnosed with a rare form of brain cancer called glioblastoma multiforme that has only been diagnosed in just a dozen or so children. In early December, Trenton started experiencing seizures which sent him to St. Francis Hospital in Tulsa.....Dozer had brain surgery and the doctor gave the family the most devastating and horrible news that parent or grand parent could hear. Dozer had 3 malignant brain tumors, two were operable with no promises and the other one was too deep to get to without permanently destroying all motor skills on the left side of his body. The biopsy revealed a very aggressive, rare form of cancer with a harsh prognosis, they basically told them to take Dozer home and let him enjoy his Christmas because without a miracle this would most likely be his last.....Dozer could sure use any extra prayers anyone could spare to send up in his behalf. Thanks in advance for all your help.....a Care Page set up in Dozers name so if any one wants to read and follow his progress, please feel free to do so...Here is the link to his page.

https://www.carepages.com/carepages/TrentonBeaver


I went to this web site to check on Trenton 'Dozer' and this what I read...

...Trenton is back in the hospital and having a tough day.
Please pray for peace, rest, and strength for Dozer.

Makes my stupid book seem kinda insignificant. The next person I hear bitch about how crappy their Christmas was is gonna hear about Trenton and then get busted right in the teeth, I swear.

So, my friends, what ever you do to channel your powers, whether it's praying or chanting or dancing around the camp fire, get to doin' it. Even if you don't really believe in anything, just put some positive thoughts out there for Trenton and his family.

Here is a tune I post from time to time. It means the world to me on so many different levels. I hope you can dig it. This is for Dozer from me and all of my people.


Adios,
~e~