Tracy's Nude Birthday

This here is some 'nude' art.

Hello friends,

The 28th was Tracy's birthday and she wanted to go to see 'Nude 5'. It's this nude art show held every year for the last 5 years. That's why there is a '5' in the title. Duh. It was a great night. The first great thing that happened was we got in for free. The tickets were 16 bucks a head, but we walked like we owned the place and they never asked us for the dough. The second great thing was when we saddled up to the bar I found 20 samolians on the floor. Thirdly, there were half naked chicks running from one end of the joint to the other. Corsets and thongs and boobs all over the place. Now, anyone who knows me knows that I am a big fan of nekkid ladies, so this little shindig was right up my alley. And last but surely not least, the greatest thing about it was that Tracy out shined them all. And she didn't even have to take her clothes off. She had this tight 50's style dress and red high heels with those sexy straps around her ankles. Man-O-man. We danced a whole bunch and closed the place down, and when we got home we.......well......I guess that will have to wait for another time.

Happy Birthday, Kitten!

Here are my good friends who still owe me for the two broken chairs and the cost of the monkey suit rental.


Adios,
~e~

Gittin' My Ass Handed Too Me

Hello friends,

Today has to be the worst day of card playin' I have ever had the privilege of not enjoying. Good Lord, it wasn't that I wasn't gittin' cards, I can deal with that, but I was gittin' some pretty snappy hands and I got sucked out every time. The only hands I won were a couple that I bluffed on. Here are three (3) examples of what got shoved up me today. There were more but I'll just give you a little taste.

Example #1 ~ I get A,K - I bet - (all fold except for this one dude who fancies himself the room pro and some cat that looks like Lamont on Sanford and Son)
Flop - A,7,K (I flopped two pair) Lamont checks - I bet the piss out of it - club pro folds -Lamont calls
Turn - ? (The ? means I don't remember the card and it doesn't matter) Lamont checks - I bet - He calls
River - 7. Lamont goes all in - I call - Lamont wins cause he caught a full house with that stupid 7. (I feel the big one Ethel)

Example #2 ~ I get Q,Q - I bet hard - the hillbilly chick settin' in the #1 seat calls ( I can hardly understand her cause I am fixated on her helmet hair-do with these lovely 80's bangs, the kind that go out then hook back to the forehead, and her stupid, wrinkled, navy blue wind breaker)
Flop - 2,?,? - I bet - Mannequin head calls
Turn - 2 (Christ, I see the writing on the wall) I try to bet her off but no-can-do - she calls
Flop - ? she had a deuce which gives her trips and I lose again

Here is the best one
Example #3 ~ I get A ,10 of clubs - I limp in - Mannequin head calls
Flop - ?,?,? suited clubs (So I have flopped a nut flush, the best possible hand at this point)
I go all in and the queen of the trailer park follows - We show our cards - she has 4,4
Turn - 4 (I can feel the air being sucked out of the room and it being filled back up with piss. I am now swimming in a urine filled vat waiting to be pulled under by a three toothed, Lynyrd Skynyrd lovin', squid)
River - 4 (Quad 4's!!! Stupid wind breaker, helmet headed, hayseed!)

But, I believe in being a good sport so I said "Nice one" but the whole time I was thinking I hope her meth lab burns up her double wide up tonight.

I'm not going to say how much money I lost today but I will say that it's lucky I don't own a flame thrower.

You know, the band Lynyrd Skynyrd is like a Pit Bull. Pit Bulls are good dogs they just have bad owners, where as Skynyrd (as they're known in the trailer court) was a good band, they just have bad fans.


Adios,
~e~

The First Three

Previously I wrote about the three albums that broke me. And well, after thinking about it, I guess I was broken from the start. Here are the first three albums that affected me. They were my older (much) sisters and I scratched the hell out of'um, but I got a gazillion hours of pure pleasure from those old three discs.

Here is what the albums looked like ~
And here is what they sounded like (with out the scratches)
Turn these up also.



My favotite song was really Steppin Stone, the B side of this 45, but since I can't find a video of it you get the A side. I like it too.


Adios,
~e~

What A Great Mother!

Hello friends,

There is a kid I work with that is kinda goofy. I say kid, he's 20. He lives with his mother and dead beat brother. Well, his mother was scheduled to leave today to go see his other dead beat brother who is in prison for burglary in Duluth or Schenectady or some stupid place. I can't remember and it that doesn't matter. So she was leaving today out of Tulsa International Airport. Well, here I come walking around the corner at work to see my boss and the kid just standing there staring at each other. My boss looks sick and is rubbing his bald noggin'. The kid has a blank stare and his eyes are welling up. As I walk up my boss said that the kid just got a text from his mother that read ~

I'm on the plane.
Something wrong with the engine.
We are going down.
I love you very much.
Mom

The kid looked at me and said "I don't know what to do. What should I do?" I asked if he knew what airline she was flying and he said no. So I said I will call the airport and see if they know anything. Well, I don't know there phone number so I called Tracy to have her look it up for me when he gets another text from his mother. It read ~

I'm just kidding.
We haven't boarded yet.
Mom

His mother did that to him! Can you believe that? What the hell is wrong with her? Anyway I tell Tracy that she can stop searching for the number and then I tell her what happened and she said that his mom was an idiot and shouldn't do things like that, then promptly informed me that I had forgotten to shut the living room windows and was inviting a bugler (like the kids brother) to rob us blind. And that I need to pay attention to what I'm doing because as of yet, I have failed to do so. So, she (the kids mother) not only scared her son half to death, she got me balled out. Stupid lady.

Here are my good buddies from Frisco singing a little tune about flying.

Adios,
~e~

3 Albums

Hello friends,


About a bunch of years ago I was a skinny, goofy kid, sittin' on the edge of my bed trying to figure out how to operate the crappy Strat copy guitar I owned. Ok see, the music that was played on the radio back then was by groups like Abba, Fleetwood Mac, Heart, Boston, Foreigner, Queen, Supertramp, Bob Seger, The Eagle, Rush, blah blah blah, yuck yuck yuck. I didn't like it but I figured that if there was anything better out there 'it' would be played insted of that junk. Now, I'm not saying I don't have fond memories of that music. Like I have said a million times "The sound track of my life is set to shitty music" You know, making out in my 1965 Mustang while 'More Than A Feeling' played on the radio. Every song was either a my heart is broken or I love my baby song. Any way my sister Jane comes home from NYC looking all freaky and she had a box of records with her. I had never heard of the cats on any of those vinal discs but they looked freaky too. I asked if I could borrow the box and she said "No, but you can take three. When you return them you can get three more" So I picked three out solely by the covers. I took them home and I have been broken ever since. This is what the records looked like.

***************************************

And this is what they sounded like. This is when music pumped. Man, this is how I felt inside when I was a kid....I still do. I really loved the Dead Boys cause they were wild, nasty, and loud, but still had rock and roll chops and Cheetah and Jimmy played cool guitars.

The Damned turned me on cause it was recorded so raw and rough

The Ramones were like nothing I had ever heard before. These cats truely changed my life.

Adios,
~e~